From my youngest days of playing with toy cars, a sports car was a two-door, two-seat machine, with or without a top, and a spirited engine. That has been the formula for a sports car, a muscle car, and just about every exotic concept car to ever grace a show stand. Unfortunately, the very thing that makes them sexy and appealing are the same things that make them woefully impractical.
For the longest time, especially in this country, if you wanted something fun to drive, this was the recipe you looked for. To this day, the two-door coupe and convertible are quite simply the best looking things out there. But if you own one, chances are it isn’t your sole source of transportation, especially if you have a family.
When I was young and single, a two-door coupe was the only thing I wanted, and mostly what I owned. But even then, the occasion would come around to carry something, take a short trip, or carry more than one friend, and said coupe suffered from the inability to multi-task.
There were a few exceptions. Once upon a time, automakers offered two-door versions of their full-sized cars, one of which was my 1968 Dodge Polara. Here was a car with a huge trunk, an ample back seat, and loads of room and comfort. The coupe body and sloping back glass gave it a sporty look, but a sporty handling car it was not. Some enthusiasts robbed the parts bins for police vehicles, upgrading suspension to improve the driving feel. But the fact remained there were plenty of other smaller, lighter cars to choose from if you wanted better performance.
The days of the big Impala Super Sports, Ford Galaxies and Torinos, and Dodge Chargers began to fade as I got older. I held fast to owning a coupe even after I got married and my kids came along. Granted, my wife’s car tended to be something more useful, but in the end, I caved, as most of us do, for something more practical.
Many years later, I purchased a 2001 Pontiac Grand Prix while I was on the hunt for another Firebird Trans Am (which I never found) Surprisingly, the Grand Prix had the same back seat space as its sedan counterpart, and the same trunk space. That car served me for many happy, fun miles, and I still hold fond memories of it to this day. In fact, it was the first 16×20 photo to be framed and start my “Wall of Honor” in my den.
In Europe, the concept of a performance car with more than two doors was nothing new. They even had the audacity to offer fast versions of estate cars, but oddly, it was Nissan that first used the marketing term, “Four Door Sports Car or 4DSC” for their Maxima sedan. While there were other sedans out there with more performance than the Nissan, none were offered in a similar price range. BMWs and Mercedes built potent sedans to be sure, but they came with a high cost (and still do)
I may be mistaken, but I believe BMW was the first automaker to commit the blasphemy of calling a four-door a coupe. I believe it was the 6-Series “Gran Coupe’” that was the monster in question. To be fair, the Gran Coupe was a slick looking car with a lot of attributes, performance and practical, but a coupe IT WAS NOT!
Designers then tried to make the case that a “coupe” was anything with a sloping back glass and raked windshield, while the number of doors was declared irrelevant. To this I say…POPPYCOCK!
I’m sorry boys, I’m not saying you can’t build a sexy, swoopy looking sedan, because there are more than a few out there these days, but if it’s got more than two doors, IT AIN’T A COUPE.
This illogical ideology has even mutated into the SUV styling rooms. So today, adding a sloping liftgate glass to a SUV can suddenly justify calling it a coupe. Think about the irony here. A Sport UTILITY Vehicle is given less utility, made more impractical in rear seat headroom and cargo space, and that makes it a coupe? I suppose I shouldn’t be shocked since so-called SPORT versions of SUVs fight the laws of physics even more than full-sized sedans ever did.
By that logic, I have no reservations whatsoever in making performance mods to any four-door car I own. I surmise that if it has a sloping shape, it can have sporting aspirations. The Dodge Charger Hellcat Widebody springs to mind. Lord knows there are a LOT of levels under that beast.
The Dodge Challenger has to be the most recent success story in the coupe market. Although, Ford Motor Company remains staunchly loyal to building the Mustang, and well they should. The Mustang is an American icon, just like the Corvette, and if they are only built in the hundreds for production each year, it would be a crime to see them discontinued.
While I’m certainly in a better position to own a coupe now than I have been in years, I find myself walking away from the chances because of how often I use my cars for things more than simply driving. The Buick LaCrosse I currently own is a sedan, but hands down one of the best looking of the breed in my opinion. The Jaguar XJ-R is a sexy beast, but I think my Buick can park next to the likes of the Jag all day with pride to spare.
I suppose I should be thankful that so many good sedans are on the market nowadays, although they too are becoming a dying breed in the world of SUVs and trucks. I can’t knock the SUV or crossover as its so fond off being called these days, because there is one in my driveway, and I have to admit it’s a true multi-use tool. That said, as much as I like it, it’s never as much fun as a sleek, low to the ground, athletic machine that loves to eat up winding roads and highway on-ramps.
I lament the passing of the coupe as we know it, especially in the many forms it once was offered, but I give thanks for the present designs they inspired, like the one parked in my garage.
In truth, you don’t really notice the back seat…unless someone is back there screaming for you to slow down. The Stig would be proud!
Sadly, the one dying breed that concerns me the most is the driver. So much of new technology going forward is about self-driving and autonomous vehicles. Every day we draw closer to a time when voice commands or inputs from a smartphone or tablet will be the only skills required. I’ve even noted a couple of concept cars of late where the steering wheel folds and hides away because its only occasionally needed. I think this is still a long way from production, but the direction itself is sad. I personally find great joy in “being one with the machine.” When a car becomes and extension of yourself and executes your commands with precision, it’s a thrilling experience. But for the masses, I suppose it will become as rare as those who know how to ride a horse.
Giddyup!
T. August Green
Thoughts from the Highway of Life 
You are absolutely correct!